Funnies From The Farm

When does a horse neigh? Whinny he wants to.

 

How can you tell when a pony is sick? He's a little hoarse.

 

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks!

 

What do you call the horse next door? A neigh-bor.

 

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field.

 

What did the horse say when he fell? ? I can't giddy up!

 

What do you get when you cross a a cockerel, a poodle and a ghost? Cockapoodleboo!

 

What do you call an Amish mechanic? A veterinarian

 

What time does a dentist like? Tooth-Hurty

 

What do you call a cow that just gave birth? DeCALFinated

 

Why did the Rooster cross the road? Cause it was the hens day off.

 

What did the farmer say when he found out his tractor was missing? ? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

 

Do you know why the turtle crossed the road? To get to the Shell station.

 

Why was the strawberry sad? Because his mom was in a jam.

 

Why did the Cucumber and Tomato blush? Because they saw the salad "dressing"

 

Why did the rooster cross the road? ? To prove he wasn't a chicken!

 

What is green and has 4 doors and goes Slam,slam,slam,slam? A 4 door pickle.

 

Why did the dolphin decide he needed therapy? Because he felt he had no porpoise in life.

 

Three cowboys are in a regular cab pickup. Which one is the smartest? The one in the middle. He doesn't have to open gates.

 

Why do they wash your clothes in tide? Because its too cold outtide

 

Why do hens lay eggs? Because if they dropped them they'd break!

 

What do you get when a cow gets high-centered on a barbed wire fence? Utter Destruction

 

What kind of jokes do eggs tell? Funny Yolks

 

What day do chickens hate most? Fry-days

 

Why did the duck and the doctor get along so well? They were both quacks.

 

Which horses run well only in the evenings? NightMARES

 

Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was strapped to the chicken.

 

Why do hens lay eggs? Because if they dropped them they'd break!

 

What do you get when a pig and a chicken bump into each other? Ham and eggs

 

How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs? You step in a poodle.

 

What has ears, but never hears a thing? A cornfield.

 

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!

 

What did the alien say to the rose bush? Take me to your weeder.

 

What do you call the chicken who walked across the road? Poultry in Motion

 

Did you know they are outlawing the big round bales of hay? The cows aren't getting a square meal.